..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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