seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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