She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
