I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
