i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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