i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
