**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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