He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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