no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
