U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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