no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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