I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
