Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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