You really coming over, don't trick.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
