I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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