so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
