Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
