can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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