Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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