we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm really busy with my period
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