i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
