Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize