im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
