I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
