Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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