with your own penis?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
