Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize