i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
