Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
