Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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