Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I need to stop coming to work sober
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
