We're facebook friends in real life
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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