a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
