she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
