it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
