Rock
Scissors
Fuck
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
