The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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