He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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