areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
