Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
