she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
