You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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