I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
