i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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