make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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