I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
