Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
