i just google imaged poop.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
