Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
