her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
