and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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