I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
