I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize