everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
