I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
