I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
