it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
