I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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