yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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