I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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