and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
