don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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