this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
