i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Sober January is a disaster.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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