i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
