My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i love accidental penises.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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