In America we eat man semen.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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