I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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