Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
