i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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