Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
