the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
