I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
