What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
