So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
